Sry I called you an 8
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
