i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize