Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
