gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
