He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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