Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
