we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
