just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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