is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
