Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
