come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
