dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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