She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
