I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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