Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
