she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
