She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
