No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
