Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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