I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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