I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
