The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
