If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
