I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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