I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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