We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
