I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
