just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
