I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
