Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
