Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
