last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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