Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You pole danced in your parka.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
