i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
