My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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