And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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