i would punch a child for taco bell
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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