rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize