The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize