this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
