she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My bed smells like the plague
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