this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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