Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
