i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
