She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
