Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
