The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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