I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
