sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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