She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
