I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
