just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize