I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
