It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
